10 Things I've Learned About Texas

In honor of my three month anniversary of living here:

1. Wear mosquito repellent after dusk. Or else.

2. "Y'all" is an incredibly useful phrase. I still feel like a total poser saying it, but really the only alternative is "you guys" and suddenly I feel all awkward and manly like I'm Sloth from "Goonies" shouting "Heeeeeey yoooouuu gu-uys" while swinging from a giant boom on an ancient pirate ship when I could be all dainty and cute and just say "y'all."

3. I don't like queso. I know, gasp. But, let's be honest. It's basically melted Velveeta with chunks of canned chili or cheap sausage. It's only marginally tastier or more sophisticated than stadium nacho pump-a-cheez. It might be perfectly suitable as a little pick-me-up at 2 a.m. after a long night of binge drinking, but, since those days are long behind me, I don't see many other uses for it.

4. But, I do like margaritas. I know, I'm a weirdo. I'm just discovering this now? Yes, well, after an unfortunate tequila-related incident sophomore year, even the faintest scent of it has been enough to steer me clear of margaritas for the past decade. Like, literally. I hadn't ever had a single margarita until I moved here. And then on one of our many trips out for Mexican food I decided to just try one (assuming I'd hate it) and you know what? They're pretty darn tasty! Tequila shots... now that's another story.

5. There are a lot of chain restaurants in the United States. And I have never heard of 2/3 of them.

6. Everything really is bigger here-- all the expected stuff: houses, cars, the beef section in the grocery store's butcher case-- but also flags. There are ginormous, huge American and Texas State flags all over the place that are like 2 stories tall, and most are ridiculously disproportionate to the flag poles and buildings they adorn.

7. "Tex Mex" really just means greasy, cheesy American-style Mexican food. (As opposed to "Fresh Mex" which is more of your SoCal/Baja/West Coast style.) And don't get me wrong-- I am definitely not knocking greasy, cheesy American-style Mexican food. It's actually done exceptionally well in Texas and I have acquired quite an appreciation for it.

8. Fall is everyone's favorite season. But fall doesn't mean changing leaves, scarves, boots, and toasty beverages. Fall means temperatures below 90 and, more importantly, football. That is all.

9. Cowboy boots are appropriate footwear in any instance when you would normally wear tall, heeled boots-- with skinny jeans tucked in, with longer dresses and flowy skirts, and with your classic bootcut jeans. Judging from the attire of women at UT football games, they are also apparently appropriate with mini skirts, short strapless dresses, and incredibly tiny Daisy Duke jean cut-offs. However, I still question why you would want to cover your legs up to the knee with heavy leather boots when the 90+ degree temps and high humidity make the Daisy Dukes (kinda but not really) an acceptable fashion choice? I chalk it up to the Uggs with mini skirt phenomenon.

10. Texas is an incredibly diverse state-- from ethnicity, culture, and politics, to geography, to style and attitude, it spans the spectrum. We've all heard the big-haired-gun-toting-red-state stereotypes, and there is a grain of truth to these assessments, but there are so many other facets of Texas (and Texans) that don't fit the stereotype at all. 21sth century Texas is really a dynamic, interesting place, and definitely not as much of a foreign country as the stereotypes would lead you to believe. Of course, I say this as someone who has not ventured very far outside of Austin. But so far, Austin has been a great city to explore, and I really don't feel like I'm 5 hours away from home by plane. Minus the aforementioned "y'alls," copious amounts of Tex Mex, and searing summer heat, this really doesn't feel much different than home. And that is a great feeling.