One Month Already

Dear Nicholas,

We celebrated your one month birthday on Thursday. It's hard to believe 31 days have already flown by since your arrival. But it's even harder to believe that just a few weeks ago you were in my belly and we had no idea who you were or exactly how our lives would change when we met you. And boy have our lives changed... and in mostly good ways. We get (a lot) less sleep, I have mastered the art of eating dinner with one hand while holding (or sometimes nursing) you, and I now no longer think new mothers are exaggerating when they say they don't even have time to shower. But I've also discovered that being a parent forces you to really be present and live in the moment-- something your type A mama has never excelled at. And there have already been so many great moments to savor.

I love staring at your precious little face and am mesmerized by your adorable expressions. You are quite expressive, and we have already cataloged a variety of your favorites including your cute little pout (we may be in trouble when you hit toddlerhood and figure out how to use this to your advantage), the Mr. Magoo (scrunched up eyes when you are screaming), your perplexed face with raised eyebrows (complete with little wrinkles on your forehead!), and even some content little expressions bordering on a smile. I also love when you stare back at me as though you are trying to memorize my face. I think you know I'm someone important to you, but you can't quite figure out who.

To date, you've been an excellent eater and an OK sleeper. You had no problem latching on from day one, and now spend a good 10-12 hours a day chowing down. You eat every hour and a half to two hours during the day and every two to three hours at night. The biggest challenge with feeding you is that you are a little bit lazy and will eat heartily for 4-5 minutes, and then you just kind of relax and slowly sip your way in and out of consciousness for 20-30 minutes on each side. This makes for what seem like endless marathons of cluster feeding every evening for two to three hours at a time. During the day you sometimes fight sleep, and then when we do get you down for a nap, it may only last 45 minutes or so. The good news is that you are definitely showing some improvement in your night time sleep. You usually go back to sleep fairly quickly after night feedings and will stay asleep for 2 hours or so-- although we've had some 3 hour stretches and even one 4 hour stretch. We're hoping to see a few more of those in the coming weeks!

This month everything you've done has been a first-- including your first trips to the doctor, the grocery store, and several trips to restaurants; your first bath; and your first visits from Gammy and Grandpa, auntie Kristin, and auntie Laura. You also hit one big developmental milestone and shocked us all by rolling over from your stomach to your back during tummy time the day before you turned one month. Since then you've done it several more times. We think it's a sign of your supreme intellect because you hate tummy time and must have just figured out it was easier to roll over than deal with us forcing you to lift up that huge noggin.

You've visited the doctor twice so far-- once at three days old, and once at two weeks old. At three days, you had lost ten ounces from your birth weight (down to 6 lbs., 8 oz.), but at two weeks you were back up to 7 lbs. even-- just 2 ounces shy of your birth weight. You aren't due for another visit to the doctor until your two month birthday, but I'm guessing you're now weighing in around 8 pounds. I can't cinch your newborn size diapers so tightly and you're finally starting to fit into a few of your 0-3 month clothing items. I'm looking forward to seeing you fill out a bit more so you can wear more of your cute outfits that friends and family have so generously gifted us with.

Nicholas, I knew that becoming your mother would be wonderful and challenging, but all the cliches are more true than I could have expected. Motherhood is the toughest job I've ever had, but being your mom is also the best job I've ever had and I find myself falling more and more in love with you everyday. It's only been a month, but you've changed our lives for the better and we are so excited to see how you will continue to grow and evolve over the next weeks, months, and years.

All my love,

Mommy

Announcing the Arrival...

of Nicholas Michael

born January 23, 2012

7 pounds, 2 ounces

20 1/4 inches

We've been home now for a full week and it's been amazing, exhausting, and kind of surreal. We're not biased at all, but Jason and I are pretty sure he's the cutest baby either one of us has ever seen. In fact, we're quite impressed with ourselves for making such an adorable little person.

Overall, the transition to parenthood has been good. As expected, sleep has been spotty... at one point last night I got about 2 and a half consecutive hours and that was the longest stretch since I went into the hospital last Sunday evening. Breastfeeding has been challenging, but I'm committed to sticking with it and I think it's slowly getting a little easier. At times I feel completely overwhelmed with the nonstop cycles of feeding, changing, and soothing to sleep, but I just have to remind myself to take it one day at a time-- or sometimes even one hour at a time-- and then it seems a little more manageable. Other times, motherhood seems like the most natural thing in the world and I can just sit and watch Nicholas, and his funny facial expressions, for hours.

Right now my mom is here staying with us, and it has been amazing-- delicious home-cooked meals on the table each night, a non-stop flow of groceries and help with household chores, an extra pair of hands to help soothe him when he's fussy (she's like the baby whisperer), and an experienced sounding board to bounce questions and concerns off of when I wonder if I'm doing this whole thing right. It's safe to say I would have been a disaster this week without her help. My dad will join us tomorrow for the weekend, and then they'll head home on Monday. I'm kind of dreading their departure, but we're fortunate to have a bunch of other visitors lined up to come visit in the coming weeks, including Jason's parents and both of our sisters.

Right now he's dozing in his bouncy chair (our most useful chill baby apparatus to date), and I'm trying to catch up quickly with emails and blogs, while mom and Jason finish up dinner. I'll post again soon with his full birth story. It's hard to believe I could forget any of the details, but I want to make sure I record them just in case.

A Letter to My Son

Hey Buddy,

Yes, you have a name, but your Dad and I have decided not to share it until you make your big debut. We're expecting you any day now and my emotions have run the gamut from nervous and anxious-- will you and I both make it through labor and delivery healthy and safe? will I be up to the demands of caring for a newborn around the clock? will I be a good mom?-- to happy, excited, and curious about who you are and who you will become.

From the looks of the ultrasounds pictures (and I have many, which I've put into an album for you to enjoy one day), I think you take after your Dad in the looks department. You appear to have his profile, cheeks, and chin. It will be interesting to see if this proves true once we really meet you. I'm also very excited to get to know you and learn your little personality. You've been very chill and laid back to date. During my ultrasounds, the technician usually has to jiggle my belly with the ultrasound wand to get you to move. We joke that you love to sleep (like your Mom) and I hope this is truly the case!

Your Dad and I both have many hopes and dreams for you. We talk all the time about the trips we want to take with you, the skills and activities we want to teach you, and all of the exciting things in this big world that we want to share with you. I know your Dad is excited to introduce you to his love of tennis and soccer (you already have a little soccer onesie ready for watching Saturday morning games with him), and I can't wait to take you camping, swimming, and hiking like I did with my family as a child. But, most of all, we just want to support and nurture you as you grow into the person you are uniquely meant to be. We will be your biggest fans and cheerleaders, and we can't wait to experience this lifelong journey we are about to take with you. There will be many ups and downs, but through it all, know that our love for you is unconditional and unending. We are privileged to have the honor of welcoming you into this world and raising you, and we cannot wait to meet you.

All my love,

Momma

P.S. Go easy on me!

Week 39

January 20, 2012

Best Moment: Here we are in the final stretch! This week I finished up my job. My company is consolidating most of its positions at the headquarters in Atlanta, so our Austin office is actually closing. This has been a long time coming and wasn't exactly surprising, although I had hoped to return to work in some capacity after my maternity leave. Instead, I'll be able to enjoy a longer than planned "maternity leave" and then later this year I'll start thinking about the next steps in my career. Wrapping up work was a little bittersweet because I enjoyed working with many of my colleagues, but it feels good now to be done. This week I also enjoyed a little pre-baby pampering, including a luxurious pedicure and some eyebrow grooming. I'll be ready for those glamour shots in the delivery room! Haha. I'm still working on sewing an elephant themed mobile for the nursery, but other than that, his room is prepped, our bags are packed, and the house is pretty much spotless. I think we're ready.

Symptoms: I'm feeling all kinds of cramps and twinges in my belly. Some of them are Braxton-Hicks, some of them are indigestion, and some of them are legitimate contractions. Last weekend, I had a bout of contractions every 9 or 10 minutes for over an hour and we were convinced it was go-time. We hadn't even packed our bags at that point, so we spent that hour running around trying to gather everything together. Then the contractions just stopped. Since then, I've had a few minor ones, but nothing consistent. In the last few days, I've also started feeling a lot of pressure and soreness behind my pubic bone. I'm hoping this means the baby's head has dropped.

Cravings/Aversions: Out of the blue, I've started having massive Thai food cravings. In Seattle, there is a Thai restaurant on every street corner (almost literally), and I used to love eating it all the time. In Austin, we've been hard pressed to find a good Thai restaurant, but recently found Titaya's on North Lamar and I was able to indulge in some delicious red curry last night.

What I Miss: Oh, the list is long... But I'm so close to the finish now that it doesn't even matter. I'm just happy to have made it this far with a healthy baby.

What I Can't Wait For: I can't wait to meet him! And I'm looking forward to not being pregnant anymore. I can't even really remember what it feels like to not be pregnant. It will be so strange not to feel him squirming around, to sleep on my stomach, and to just be able to move around without all this extra weight. Who knows? Maybe I'll miss being pregnant.

Milestones: As of my appointment this week, the Bean is now expected to weigh in at just over 7 pounds. He is still piling on body fat to help him regulate his temperature outside the womb and the outer layer of his skin is sloughing off as new skin forms.

5 Signs it's Time For This Baby to Arrive

5.) Freezer: stocked. Multiple servings of tomato soup, leek chickpea soup, and chicken pot pie stew; chili (both turkey and beef); stock; three different types of casseroles (lasagna x2, chicken florentine, and chicken tamale); garlic bread; three loaves of pumpkin bread; frozen burritos and a few other Amy's entrees; and a container of frozen yogurt for good measure. I think we're covered.

4.) I cannot sit on a chair to put my shoes on because the belly doesn't allow me to lean over far enough. So instead I have to sit on the floor to put on shoes or socks. Except then I require assistance to get back up.

3.) I have been wearing the same pair of my husband's grey sweatpants for the past three days. They are just the only thing that is roomy enough and comfortable enough to make it through the day. I actually went with him to Nordstrom dressed like this. Not OK. Except that I just can't muster the energy to care.

2.) My husband has called me from work to see if I've passed my mucous plug. TMI? Most definitely. But this from a guy who used to be squeamish about just attending my doctor's appointments with me. Now he throws around terms like "mucous plug" and "perineal massage" like he's discussing the NFL playoffs with his buddies.

1.) Last week I managed to rip two different pairs of pants in one day. People tell me I'm all belly (thank you, I'll take the compliment), but the pair of pajama pants-- that ripped wide open in the butt when I sat down on the couch-- and the pair of GAP maternity jeans-- that ripped open across the top of my thigh when I put them on out of the dryer-- beg to differ.

It's time. It is definitely time.

Weeks 37 and 38

January 13, 2011

Best Moment: The theme of the past two weeks has just been the waiting game. We've been patiently wrapping up projects around the house and at work, while trying to squeeze in some fun while we can. We've had two different couples over for dinner, went out to see Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, polished off almost three seasons of Breaking Bad on Netflix, and had one final nice dinner out at Foreign & Domestic. On a totally unrelated note, at my 37 week doctor's appointment, I got the good news that I am already 1.5 cm dilated and 50% effaced. I realize I could just hang out like this for another few weeks, but my doctor also said he wouldn't be surprised if the baby makes his appearance sooner rather than later. Fingers crossed!

Symptoms: Sleep has become a serious challenge. Most nights I am up 3-4 times, and it often takes me 45 minutes to an hour to get back to sleep. Not fun. But I guess this is just nature's way of preparing me for what's to come. Overall, I'm just really tired... I'm sure my poor sleep contributes to it, but I definitely notice my energy flagging during the day. I just can't seem to get more than a few little things done each day. Fortunately, I'm close to wrapping up work.

Cravings/Aversions: Not too much new to report here. My weight gain has really tapered off. I snack pretty frequently, but can't eat too much at one sitting. (Although I did manage to polish off half of a roasted carrot appetizer, most of my Wagyu beef entree, and an entire cranberry chocolate bread pudding dessert at Foreign & Domestic. Totally worth it.)

What I Miss: Comfortable sleep.

What I Can't Wait For: I am just ready to meet this little guy!

Milestones: As of week 37, baby boy is officially considered full term. As of 38 weeks, he is approximately 19.5 inches long-- the size of a leek-- and pushing 7 pounds.

Week 36

December 30, 2011

Best Moment: Christmas fell at the beginning of week 36, which we celebrated in Portland with my family. On the 27th, we headed back to Austin and then spent the remainder of the week between Christmas and New Year's lazing around the house because both of our offices were closed. We had some unseasonably warm weather (even for Austin-- hence the sleeveless tunic) and took advantage of it with a few walks around Town Lake and a date night on Garrido's back patio, followed by a viewing of The Descendants at the Violet Crown. Jason has always wanted to take a photo in front of this famous Austin sign, so we took a few shots there (although they are kind of far away and don't show off the bump too well.) But you get the picture-- it's big and getting bigger everyday.

Symptoms: Increasing Braxton Hicks contractions and a few real contractions as well. Sleep continues to be poor, but since I was off work, I managed to catch an afternoon nap almost every day. At this point, I actually think I sleep better during naps than I do at night.

Cravings/Aversions: I should probably just delete this category all together since I don't really have cravings anymore and it's been months since I've had a real food aversion. But for consistency's sake, I'll report that while I am still sporting a pretty serious sweet tooth, I just don't have as much of an appetite as I did earlier in the pregnancy. My meals are actually smaller at this point than they were pre-pregnancy. There's just no room in there for food!

What I Miss: Same old, same old... sleep, energy, moving around without pain. Not too much longer now...

What I Can't Wait For: We made some big progress on the nursery this week, so I'm looking forward to adding the final touches and then sharing some photos. It's simple, but looking pretty cute!

Milestones: Baby boy is tipping the scales at approximately 6 lbs. 3 oz. (confirmed by my latest ultrasound). He's packing on the pounds at the rate of an ounce a day and will continue to do so for the remainder of the pregnancy.